My Priority List

I asked her, “What are the top five priorities in your life?”

Monique (not her real name) considered the question and responded, “My children, my mother (who has Alzheimer’s), my partner, my job and me.” As she enumerated the list for me, I could already see that she was examining the order of priorities. “That’s wrong isn’t it?” she observed, and then looked for my reaction.

I saw her list as a good news/bad news response. The good news – she actually made her top five list. The bad news – she was the last item on the list. So few people, women or men, make the list at all.

Be honest with yourself – if you took the time to name your top five life priorities, would you make the list?

This is one of those important ME FIRST moments. It is time to understand that to put yourself first allows you the time to examine what is important to you and what you want to attract.

I understand that putting self first seems impossible, potentially selfish. I suggest that it is time to re-frame that belief. Understand that to put yourself first, what I refer to as selfness, is the ultimate act of service. If you are unable to be of service to yourself, how will you continue to stay strong and resilient in the face of the many demands on your life, whether that is family, community or work?

Monique realized that she no longer wanted to be the last item on her priority list. Her life was speaking to her, her body expressing this through fatigue, lack of focus, and a feeling of being overwhelmed. The thought of adding one more item to her already overburdened ‘to do list’ however, caused considerable anxiety. “How will I find the time for ME FIRST?’ she asked.

I have a proposal for those of you, who are probably harboring the same thoughts as my client. Would you be willing to dedicate 1% of your day to YOU, specifically for a ME FIRST moment? By the way 1% represents 14.4 minutes.

Dedicated ME FIRST time is meant to renew you. It is a state of ‘being’ versus doing. I recommend an interlude of quiet time – breathing, meditating, daydreaming, walking, relaxing – whatever it takes to break the ‘doing cycle’. This time helps you lift your spirit, awaken, re-focus, get clear on your intentions and your desires. Without a daily reprieve, it is difficult to break the cycle of activity which leaves you breathless and overwhelmed.

This year I challenge you to embrace a new approach. Dedicate 1% or more of your day to yourself everyday– remember this is only 14.4 minutes. This is time is not for sharing, it focuses on your relationship with YOU. Some suggestions:

1. be quiet and consider what would be your perfect day

2. a relaxing bath, massage, manicure

3. stop and focus on your breathing

4. have a power nap (my personal favorite)

Whatever your choice, ask others not to interrupt you and to respect your desire for ME FIRST time. Here is my favorite way of saying NO to the apparently urgent situations in the eyes of others, “I am not saying NO to you, I am saying YES to me!”

Until next time…

Betty Betty Healey is The roadSIGNS Coach, coaching people and teams back to life! An award winning author, Betty recently released her third book ME FIRST – If I Should Wake Before I Die. Her books and other roadSIGNS products for supporting your journey of self-discovery are available at www.roadSIGNS.ca. Betty also offers special coaching packages for her readers. You can contact Betty at betty@roadSIGNS.ca ; (613) 874-9934.