For many people, losing a loved one, whether it be a spouse, parent or friend, is a very difficult part of life. Women sometimes react by gathering together and counseling each other with memories of the deceased but men react in a different way: they keep their thoughts to themselves and try to continue on with everyday life. That’s why the West Island Palliative Care Residence (WIPCR) is launching a pilot project catered to men and their grieving process.
Denis Marcoux, past president of the WIPCR, will run the Bereavement at the Bar program which will take place every second Tuesday at Kelly’s Pub in Pointe Claire and is open exclusively to men.
“We’ve had a bereavement program for many years, so nothing is new there,” he said. “However, we noticed that not a lot of men go to bereavement support programs for various reasons. Men communicate on a different level and we are not often at ease with sharing. However, we do know that men grieve and that there are issues around men’s bereavement. We felt we had to reach out to offer a program where men will feel more at ease and more welcome with a few less strings attached. They can come and go as they wish and they can say or not say what they want.”
A pilot project of this kind has not been done in Quebec before. The idea first emerged in Australia and studies have shown promising results.
Marcoux said he has already been contacted by several people interested in the program. The session will be held on the second floor of Kelly’s Pub and while the men can stay later for drinks, no alcohol will be consumed while the participants meet.
“The question everybody asks is, will there be booze?” said Marcoux. “No. We just want to make sure people communicate well and they benefit from the sessions.”
Several topics will be addressed during the sessions but most of the time, it is the men that decide what they want to talk about. Marcoux notes that some topics will come up often such as nutrition or dependency because these are issues that are often affected by a death.
“A topic that comes to mind right off the bat is nutrition,” he said. “Not all men eat well after the death of somebody. Either they eat not enough or too much. We also want to talk about dependence. We are not preaching but we do want to make people aware that those are things that they could be susceptible to.”
For those who want more information about the West Island Palliative Care Residence or their pilot project, Bereavement at the Bar, call 514-693-1718.
