A time for new beginnings...

People say that time changes us, but it’s not really time; it’s our experiences that change us. The pain and happiness we experience over the years mold us like a potter’s wheel, shaping us into something other than what we were when we started. We’re still made from the same clay, but our shape changes. Sometimes, like a sharp knife slicing into a piece of soft wood, life’s pain and disappointments will slice away bits and chunks of our souls. Other times, like water running over limestone, happiness and contentment will smooth over the surfaces and remove the offensive edges. Whether change is for the better or for the worse, one thing is certain: it takes place. So, perhaps the only thing that’s in our power is to determine how we react to it.

New Year’s resolutions are always a popular song and dance during the holiday season. In some ways, blank slates give people hope. They can say: “This year, things will be different! I’ll lose 10 lbs, I’ll start exercising, I’ll quit smoking, I’ll be a better parent, spouse, etc”. Resolutions hold the promise of perfection, if only, for a little while. Most of the time, people's "resolve" dissipates just as quickly as it appeared and they feel disappointed in themselves and their lack of willpower.

If you’re one of those people that finds New Year’s resolutions (and their inflated expectations) unnecessary stressors, you can always take the easy way out and --like stand-up comedian Wanda Sykes-- choose a resolution so easy to keep, it barely enters your realm of thought. She recommends: “I will not stab someone this year” as an easy and attainable resolution for most people. But, all joking aside, we suspect that for most of us it’s not only about keeping a resolution, but about finding one that truly resonates with us.

The fundamental mistake that people make is trying to define "happiness" as a perfect to-do list. "Achieve ideal body weight… check. Achieve promotion... check. Achieve Zen-like nirvana... check." People talk of happiness as something abstract and attainable in the future, only if certain requirements are met. But life is about today. Every decision we make, the way we greet each day, each challenge, each obstacle, is what determines the end result. In the words of Emily Dickinson, "Forever is composed of nows".

As human beings, we're all different and we all have different goals and different priorities. Dreams don't come in "one size fits all". This year, as people rattle off resolution after resolution, leave the specifics to others and resolve to listen to your inner voice and your true self.

Writer Ellen Goodman once said: "We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential." Sounds like a good way to make a new beginning.