Five years gone like the blink of an eye

In just a few short days, my daughter will be celebrating her fifth birthday, and I have mixed feelings about it. I remember walking down Atwater Ave. near our downtown apartment the day after she was born and wondering which of the girls I saw walking, waiting or shopping she would end up like. I don't remember a whole lot from those first few days, but I do remember that. I do remember other snippets from those days, such as bouncing her in the dark in our closet-sized bathroom with the water running to coax her to sleep, getting her dressed and ready for her first trip out of the house and general shock at being completely responsible for a tiny human life 24 hours a day. I'm still not sure I can take care of myself 24 hours a day. But a half decade has passed, and with it, so many milestones. She can ride a two-wheeler on her own, can swim in the deep end of the pool by herself and pour her own bowl of cereal on weekend mornings. She's helped me rediscover my inner child, even though colleagues will tell you it was never hidden all that well, and she has helped me become a more patient person. Well, of course I have. Anybody would after watching my daughter get herself dressed in the morning. Twenty minutes after she hollers "OK, I'm getting dressed," she can often be found standing -- in underwear and nothing else Ð in front of her closet, staring at it. "I don't have anything to wear!" And she's not even five yet. But all the annoyances in the world can't take away from the fact she and I are like peas in a pod. She's my first born, and that's something special. She's also daddy's little girl, which makes her doubly special, and to top it all off when she's not tired, grumpy, hungry, disappointed or being told 'no,' then she's a wonderful little girl who is good to her baby brother, her mother and father and the rest of her extended family. Her turning five also offers me a small period of introspection and makes me give my own life a little thought Ð and you know what? I don't have much to complain about. I'm older, sure, with the greying temples and the aches and pains that come with getting old. But my kids are healthy, my wife is awesome and the commute to work in the morning isn't that bad. You thought this was about my daughter? Actually, it still is. But we're inextricably linked. In my mind, I will forever be 28, holding my baby girl as she sleeps in my arms, and every time she goes and gets taller, older or more precocious, it reminds me a little of how far I've come, and moreover, what a huge part of my life she's become.