Penis size does matter!

Men fear that their penis isn’t big enough, long enough, and thick enough or lasts long enough. The penis seems to have a mind of its own and one day it will let them down. When and where, one never really knows. It could be a potentially uncomfortable and even embarrassing situation. A penis should always be throbbing, banging away, hard as steel, forever ramming and thrusting. Harsh words to describe something that can bring forth such pleasure. Sadly society has portrayed the penis as having superhuman powers, in turn giving us superhuman expectations. How then can your penis live up to the unrealistic belief that most men are hung like a horse?

Penis envy is alive and well in the hearts of many, but not in those as described in Freud’s theory. He postulated it to be a purely female affliction. The truth of the matter is that penis envy is an almost exclusively male complaint. The concern is that other men have longer, wider, harder, or better penises than their own.

Men’s penises do vary both in shape and size. The size differs much more in its flaccid (soft) state. This difference is much less when the penis is erect (hard). Some penises, being longer when flaccid simply grow less in length as they become erect, as opposed to a penis that is smaller in its flaccid state. A man can have what appears as a very small penis when flaccid, yet it is average or larger than average when erect. Some men have a penis that is wider or narrower, longer or shorter. Some tend to bend to the left, others to the right, and still others not at all. The erect penis may point upwards, downwards or straight out.

Some men believe that a very large, no, an enormous penis, is regarded by women (and/or men) with awe. The belief is that this is all a man could possibly need to pleasure and impress his mate. One look at this magnificent specimen of a man and he/she is under their spell forever. The truth is that most women are far less concerned with men’s penis size than men. That is not to say that there does not exist a minority of women who enjoy a penis that is larger than average. In theory a very large penis may appear to be an attribute, in practice it is associated to a number of challenges. A very large penis, regardless of how excited or how lubricated his partner is, can cause pain, discomfort and even fear.

The majority of men have an average size penis. The average penis is approximately 5 1/2 to 6 inches in length and 1 3/4 to 2 1/4 inches in diameter (across, not around). Should you be somewhat smaller or larger you still fall within the norm. The other good news is that the women’s vagina is made to physically accommodate that exact length.

Men with huge penises are often frustrated and disappointed by women’s reactions upon first seeing their erect penis.

John: “It happens every time. I drop my pants and there is this look of shock on their face as they look down at my crotch. At first it was kind of flattering to get such a reaction. But now I’m 29 and the thrill has gone. There have been times when the size of my penis has scared women. This one woman I was with, it was such an ordeal to have intercourse. She was so afraid I’d hurt her that it took away from her pleasure and mine.”

Oral sex becomes difficult if not near impossible when the penis is over a certain size. In such a situation the man is deprived of the pleasure that another man with an average to smaller penis can experience. Often anal sex isn’t even considered a possibility. During intercourse the man with a very large penis must always be aware of his every move. Forgetting oneself and thrusting away in the throws of ecstasy can lead to pain and injury, from bruises to cuts. Some women report that a large penis makes it more difficult to reach orgasm. A penis too long and large in size reduces the clitoral stimulation that comes from the thrusting and rubbing together of the pelvic areas.

Kate: “I remember the first time my boyfriend and I were ever intimate. We were at his place, kissing and so on. I literally gasped when I saw the size of that thing he calls a penis. It was huge. I said to him, you’re not coming near me with that thing. I was petrified. I could see the disappointment in his face. He had heard this before. I felt sorry for the guy but I was also thinking about myself. There was no way he could get inside me without it hurting.”

The fantasy is not the reality. Many women tend to prefer a smaller than average rather than a larger than average penis for sexual enjoyment. Nevertheless, an average sized penis is still the best for overall sexual satisfaction.

Penis width also plays a very important role in sexual satisfaction, more so than length. Too narrow a penis, although impressive in length may actually reduce pleasurable sensations. Most of the pleasure from penetration comes from sensations contained within the outer third of the vaginal entrance, as well as any indirect stimulation of the clitoris through pelvic contact.

Truth is, nothing can be done to change penis length or width. Should you be concerned or unsatisfied with the size of your penis you may want to look into what is troubling you. Is there anything you could do to improve or change your present situation? Please keep in mind that this is the only penis you will ever have. Your penis is part of your body and your self and is therefore affected and influenced by your life and its circumstances, as well as your sense of self and masculinity, etc.… If you feel that you are experiencing great anxiety and distress over the size of your penis and/or your performance it may be best to discuss these issues with a qualified Sexologist.

Remember, the size and the shape of your penis do not a good lover make. Questions, concerns, column suggestions? Leave a comment here or email sex therapist Catherine Novac at catherinenovac@videotron.ca.