This kid doesn’t want to Twitter. Not now. Not ever.

The other day, I had to use a - gasp - public pay phone in downtown Montreal. And as I stared into the grime-encrusted receiver it crossed my mind; should I get a cell phone? Or should I just drop the receiver, let it dangle from the cord and shout my message in its general direction so I don't have to have it anywhere near my face. I did neither. But I did ponder the potential entertainment value in seeing some chick shouting at a payphone to "please feed the dogs when you get home!"

I'm sure eventually I will be among the cell-phoned majority. Because I am a sheeple of the highest order. Case in point: Myspace. Yeah, whatever right? Who uses Myspace anymore. As soon as I got on it, everyone jumped ship to Facebook. I dug in my heels and refused to switch. But then I did. Why? "Baa,” that's why. But technology is a fickle bitch. It has this annoying habit of ooh, 'evolving' and ohh, 'making our lives better and more convenient'. You know, like it did with Twitter. The *cough* most important development of the 21st century. I ask you, how did the world keep turning all those years without knowing what Ashton Kutcher had for lunch? Honestly, 'm a little afraid that if I get a cell phone I'm gonna have to Twitter. And this kid doesn't want to Twitter. Not now, not ever.

Granted, it is my job to be fairly dialed in to technology. And I am. I mean, I have a blog, I'm on Facebook, I own about 15 cassingles. But I really do not see the appeal of tweeting or twitting or whatever. I tried sending a text message once and it was the most exasperating 15 minutes of my life. If people subscribed to my Twitter, they would receive messages like, "Helo amk#% pp" and "w". Imagine a 6 month old baby smashing their stubby little fists all over a keyboard. That's what you'd be reading. Sound like fun?

Thankfully, I'm not alone. According to a recent Ipsos Reid study, almost three-quarters of online Canadians are unaware of Twitter. And apparently only 7% of Quebecers are in the loop. I'm not sure what the other 93% of us are doing (yelling at public payphones maybe?), but whatever it is, I like it. Mostly because for the first time in my life, I'm in a technological majority here. Please don't leave me, Twitter-denying brethren. At least until I get a cellphone and break up with you first.