They're everywhere these days, and you've got to watch what you're doing on the road because of them.

No, not Montreal Canadiens car flags.

I'm talking about speed traps. With the provincial government's tightening of traffic laws (heavier fines for speeding, a ban on hand-held phones while driving) on April 1, the three high-profile traffic-related cases that are running their way through the courts as we speak, last Monday's post-Game 7 riot on Montreal's streets and the suddenly warm, sunny days with no snow on the roads, you've got the magic recipe for speed traps.

I'm fine with that. I have no problem whatsoever with speed traps. If you're dumb enough to gun it any faster than you are supposed to ('supposed to' being 20 km/hr. over the posted limit; no more), than you deserve to get caught.

My problem with speed traps isn't so much that they are there, but rather, where the 'there' is.

Residential streets?

Nope.

Near schools?

Not that I've seen.

On the Highway 40 service road, where there isn't a home or child in sight? Sure. No problem. They were there seven times last week.

Oh, it's true. Morning and evening, they were hanging out on the Highway 40 south service road just east of the Hampton Inn & Suites. There they were another time in Dollard des Ormeaux, this time on an industrial thoroughfare that feeds Sources Blvd. and Highway 40. See if you can guess how many schools, parks and residences are nearby.

Clue: if you said 'one?', then you guessed one too many.

I can't wait for the annual press conference where police make their ticket numbers public. More tickets, they say, must mean you are all safer. Pedestrians, cyclists, kids playing on the side of the road, dogs, cats and old people, fear not. More tickets equals more safety, right?

Poppycock.

It's a tax grab and a revenue generator for the police department and the city that gives it directon. Municipal politicians and police brass alike will be exchanging slaps on the back and smiles after they announce the record haul of however many millions of dollars they brought in because of tickets this year.

But make no mistake, coppers. We're onto you, see.

We know very well that we're not any safer than we were this time last year, but the city does have more money in its coffers. That's something, isn't it?

Ask Patricia Jolicoeur's mother, or Bianca Leduc's parents if they feel the extra police presence on busy thoroughfares has made children safer from traffic and speeders.

They'll probably say not, because the mindset of someone who's doing 80 on a service road at 9:30 a.m.and is late for a meeting is a lot different from someone who runs red lights, stop signs and zips through school zones at more than double the posted speed limit.