Give kids some freedom: author

BY MARC LALONDE

marc.lalonde@transcontinental.ca

Are today’s teenagers too safe for their own good?

That’s the crux of a new book recently released by acclaimed psychologist Michael Ungar — who, incidentally, grew up in Dollard des Ormeaux.

Ungar, who now teaches social work at Dalhousie University in Halifax, said despite parents being better informed and more aware of danger than ever before, our kids are at a risk of being too safe, in new book ‘Too safe for their own good: How risk and responsibility help teens thrive’ ($22.99, McLelland Stewart). It is his fifth book.

Ungar, who attended Riverdale High School in Pierrefonds, said in an interview last week parents need to find out for themselves the delicate line between protecting your adolescent and allowing them to experience life — and its myriad ups and downs — for themselves.

“The reality is, kids are safer in the street in front of your house than they ever were before and what’s more, they’re more likely to get hurt while you are driving them to school than they would be if they walked to school,” he said.

That’s right, parents. Overprotective behaviour can actually be detrimental to your child’s well-being, their adjustment to adulthood, and ultimately, their adult lives.

“If kids don’t have the opportunity to push limits, they can withdraw, become anxious and retreat into a corner mentally. They are afraid of the world, and don’t have the gumption to take the kinds of risks you have to take in order to truly become an adult,” Ungar said.

Of course, you can’t just let your teen do whatever they want. The author worked with young offenders and found that when risk-taking is not balanced with protection, it can go horribly awry.

“There were young offenders I worked with who would push themselves with drugs and alcohol just to see what their body could handle, how far they could push their body,” he said.

Ironically, even though the West Island’s sometimes-idyllic setting is a safe place for teens to grow up and have a certain amount of freedom, Ungar said potential pitfalls await a great number of teens who call the region home.

“We’re seeing a lot of obesity problems and health problems, partly because parents have decided the idea of structured activities is preferable to free play,” he said.

“The problems with those is there’s lots of waiting around for your activity, both before and after, and more often than not, kids get a lift from their parents and aren’t walking. Contrast that with a group of kids going out to the pitch with a ball and just playing and running around for five hours,” he added.

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