'Because I said so' and other lost phrases

'Because I said so'

'My way or the highway'

'Because I'm your father'

It's not fair.

Those lines used to be enough. I remember, too. My mother or father would shut me down with a quick 'because I'm your father,' or 'because I said so,' and I would automatically comply with most orders being sent my way from parental units.

At least, that's how I remember it. Then I would tell whichever parent had tossed off the line that 'because I said so,' wasn't actually a viable, definitive answer to my question.

And then I'd get sent to my room.

That, I understood.

Times have changed. Oh, my, how times have changed. Parents don't spank their children anymore. They give them time-outs.

Parents don't shut the kids down with 'because I said so,' anymore, either.

Much to my dismay, parents are now expected to explain things to their kids, rather than the old 'rip the offending thing they’re not supposed to be touching out of their hand and too bad for them,' gambit that worked so successfully in the past.

We're expected to be diplomats. A colleague told me about the days when he would sass his father. It wasn't pretty – for the son.

These days, though, parents do all the paying.

Bedtime? Forget it. They'll go to sleep when they're tired, I guess.

At least that's what my wife tells me. I am convinced that this generation of parents – that is to say, my contemporaries – are raising their children the way they would've wanted to be raised when they were children. Now, all the touchy-feely stuff in the world is nice, but this isn't the United Nations, where everybody negotiates and noting ever gets done.

Kids need rules, guidance, a moral structure and discipline, which can never be instilled completely as long as everything is a negotiation.

"All right. You can stay up until 9 p.m. and have candy as long as you promise to behave tomorrow. Do you promise."

Forget that. By tomorrow, last night's deal is long forgotten. Kids need to hear 'no' once in a while, or we're going to end up with an entire continent of Paris Hiltons, kids who have never been told no or learned discipline at any age.

Empowering children is all well and good and has a place, especially when it comes to teaching them about money and opportunity cost, but carte blanche to walk all over Mommy and Daddy seems be something most kids today take for granted.

I have taken the bull by the horns and started in that vein with my daughter; I just say 'no,' and that's the end of the discussion. There are tears and tantrums, but at the end of the day, it's a lot easier to get her around.

Of course, all bets are off if your child is skilled at playing parents off against each other. I've seen my little angel accept a verdict wordlessly, walk out of the room and start crocodile-tears while trying to convince my wife to allow her what had previously been denied by Daddy the fascist.

She's quick, that one. Just not quick enough to outwit her father.

This week, anyway.