Words of advice

A few of my colleagues here at our office are expecting their first children, about a month and change apart. It’s the beginning of an exciting, tumultuous time that will not end until their new families are back at home enjoying each other’s company. For the next couple of months, my friends and colleagues will see their lives changed immeasurably, and will, at time wonder why they ever bothered with children at all.

Here’s the first piece of advice: babies are not a whole lot of fun, at least not initially. In fact, they’re not very interesting at all until they’re about five or six months old. Sure, they can look around, express themselves by crying, or crying even louder and other such delights, but the fact is, they’re more of an appendage than anything else. Especially for breastfeeding moms — then they really become an appendage. Try to maintain some level of normalcy in your lives. Rent a movie every once in a while, or simply get the sprout bundled up and go for a walk outside. This is also handy when you’re going just a little stir crazy in the house and you need some exercise. Walking and fresh air do wonders for the mind.

Don’t go buying stuffed animals to dress up the baby’s crib or bassinet. They don’t even know what they are for the longest time, and then, you’ve got the “hey...what’s this? Better stuff it in my mouth!” phase to deal with.

Stuffed animals are more a present for the buyer than for the recipient, because it makes the giver feel as if they are giving a soft, loving pet to the baby — and then they get to leave. The baby’s parents, on the other hand, are likely to mutter to themselves under their breaths.

“Oh, goody! Another stuffed animal to clutter up my house.”

Make no mistake, though. It’s going to be the hardest job you’ve ever done. Easily.

It’s also the most rewarding. My life would have very little meaning in it if my family weren’t there, and I don’t think I realized that before my daughter came along. Now, it’s easy to set priorities and make things work, because I’ve simplified my life and modified my schedule to accommodate what’s important now. You’ll have to do the same.

A quick drink with friends after work? You probably won’t want to do that anymore. Lively political discussion? It’s still there, but more in a can’t-the-government-do-anything-right sort of vein. Celebrity gossip? Forget it. There’s only one celebrity in your life now.

You might not see it now, but the time is not far away when everything else’s importance will be measured against the importance of being there for a crying, squirming little thing barely bigger than a bottle of soda pop. Seriously, the kid wins every time.And I wouldn’t have it any other way.ʺ