Zdeno Chara's post-game 7 adventures

A moment with Boston Bruins defenceman Zdeno Chara, after last night's Game 7 in Montreal.



Chara: I like hockey!!!! I eat Canadiens players!!! Arghhhhhhh!

Teammate: Um, Zdeno? The game's over. We lost.

Chara: Vee looze game? How for dat happen in hockey game?

Teammate: Well, the game's over. We lost 5-0. We couldn't really do a lot on Carey Price. We had some real good chances, but we couldn't bury them.

Chara (rising to his feet) Ve looze fise-nussing? Ve looze fise-nussing? (Lets out primal scream) Noooooooooooooo! (Grabs head in anguished pain, then looks around, desperately) TeemThomas not ween geme?

Teammate: No.

(Chara eats Tim Thomas)

Chara vant weeeennnnn! Chara vant weeeennnn! (Begins exhaling rapidly; sparks start to form around his mouth, and when reporters come in the door, the flashbulbs and hubbub begin to set him off, he begins to lose his composure all at once.)

Chara: NoOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Fire shoots out of his mouth, incinerating Vladimir Sobotka and Phil Kessel upon impact; Chara storms out of the room, incinerating reporters and a stick boy on his way out of the Bell Centre

With Chara loose on the streets of Montreal, chaos reigns. Those Montrealers feeling euphoric over the Game 7 win quickly retreat in fear, as Chara stomps everything he sees under his massive feet. Police cars are incinerated and general pandemonium reigns

Chara: Zdeno smash ceeetteeeeee! No looze fise-nussing!!!!!! No looze fise-nussing!!!!!! I like theeeeeengssssss! I like veeennningggg! Charaaaaaaa smasshhhh!!!! Vant winnnnn Game 7!

(Crushes spectators under his massive skate guard)

Veeeeee no looze fise-nussing!!!! Ve ne looze fise-nusssing! Am angrrrryyyyyy! (Incinerates Glenn Murray). You steeeenkkk, Moo-ray! You no score! Me eat!

Eventually, Chara is subdued, with a truckload of fish laced with sedatives. Phil Kessel, Vladimir Sobotka and Glenn Murray are fondly remembered by Boston fans, and the incinerated stick boy is all but forgotten.