The Great Melt gives way to the Great Sweat

Everybody loves spring. You love it, your family loves it, everybody's in a better mood. Smiles are on the increase. You just can't seem to figure out if there actually is a drawback to spring's arrival. I have, and there is.

My wife is very big on prettifying our backyard. I know, I know. Whose wife isn't? This is not to say I'm not eager to start greening my lawn, but taking care of a lawn, and meticulous planning of massive re-planting flowers and plants are two different things altogether. The snow hasn't even all been melted off out front lawns, and already she's out there with a rake, trying to gather what leave she can pry off the lawn.

I respect that, but with half the yard still buried under three feet of snow, I'm certain that the further we get into Spring -- especially given the sunny, warm garden weather last weekend -- the more I'm going to be asked to plant, dig, haul, cart or otherwise lift, pull, push and hoe mounds and mounds of dirt, grass, soil, detritus and other assorted outdoor accoutrements.

Not to mention the rather Herculean task of clearing all the dog poop our St. Bernard was kind enough to leave behind all winter long. That task alone has already filled four or five large sized bags, and more poop remains to be excavated, a lot of it the mushy, wet version you just sort of try to smear into a collection bag.

Yuck.

So, what do I do in all this? The key is distraction, much like it is with our daughter, who also likes to help in the garden, but can't actually do very much and actually gets in the way more than she helps. If we are watering the yard or digging and planting items, we give her a spade and a bucket of water to play with in her sandbox to keep her occupied. If we move to a different task, we move accordingly. If we have to mow the lawn or rake leaves, we grab her corresponding plastic version of what we're using and give it to her and so on. Distracting my wife from gardening long enough to watch the NFL Draft on TV is going to be a chore, but I'm hoping with some quality time in the morning, I can talk her into going shopping for something we need.

But not for plants or for outdoor stuff. That's the opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish. Say, shoes, or better yet, clothes for the kid. Gets me off the hook, because my taste in clothes is questionable to begin with, and because I can get awfully antsy in stores and it drives my wife crazy.

"Honey, I'm just going to hang around the house and tidy up a bit." Then she leaves, and I fold a piece of laundry and sweep a four-square-foot area of the floor. That's when the TV goes on. Gardening can wait until next weekend.